For me, one of the most frustrating effects of Parkinson’s is the cognitive challenges. There’s one in particular that happens all the damn time. I call it “That Damn Thing That Happens All the Time When I Can’t Remember the Word.”
I’ll be in the middle of a conversation, ready to say something particularly witty, and then—poof!—the word disappears. One second it’s there; the next, it’s gone.
In all honesty, forgetting words and names constantly is embarrassing. I’ve been in the middle of a presentation and completely forgotten almost every other word. It was weird. It was awkward. It confused everyone in the room. It was also a very bad Parkinson’s day.
The kicker? None of them knew I had Parkinson’s. And if they did, I assume they didn’t know about this lesser-known cognitive effect of the disease. I’m sure they assumed drugs or alcohol were involved—it was that bad.
When Forgetting Feels Like Failing
That’s just the way of it with Parkinson’s. Some days are fine. Other days, it feels like my brain is running a Windows update in the middle of a conversation.
On bad days, I feel like it’s pointless to speak to anyone. I end up isolating myself from friends and family. My sense of humor evaporates, and I let this disease own me.
Describing the Indescribable
I’m still alive, so I haven’t forgotten my wife Julie’s name. But hypothetically speaking, if I did, I’d describe her like this:
“You know that girl I married on the beach. She has brown hair that’s mostly gray now. She’s sweet, loving, and stunningly gorgeous. I love her. She even has that cute little birthmark on her left calf. Yeah, it kind of looks like Toto’s head on Jabba the Hutt’s body. You know who I mean, right?”
That’s how my brain works—super-specific descriptions for things (and sometimes people) I know but can’t name. It’s not perfect. One time, while talking to Julie about dinner, I forgot the word “spaghetti.” Instead, I described it as “the long dry worm things that you have to boil before eating.”
I didn’t stop there. I added, “You know, the ones you throw at the wall to see if they’re done.”
Let’s just say dinner wasn’t very appetizing that night.
The Origin Story of UH!?!?
Since I spend most of my time with the mostly gray-haired girl I married on the beach, she bears the brunt of this fun cognitive side effect of my Parkinson’s. I’m sure it’s as frustrating for her as it is for me—probably more so.
I can’t imagine a life of loving someone who constantly forgets words. I don’t think I have that kind of patience. Julie, though, does. She handles it with good humor and often guides me to the word or name I’m looking for.
But let’s be honest—this isn’t fun for her.
So, I thought to myself: “Guy with long hair that’s mostly gray and has a very disturbing sense of humor, but devilishly handsome. You know who I mean, right? Good. Why not create a game out of this forgetfulness? No, not a drinking game—you don’t drink. A game that has no point! A game for Julie to have fun with.”
And thus, UH!?!? was born.
The Game of UH!?!?
It’s a simple game, though my ADHD brain likes to think of it as playing Scrabble and 4-dimensional chess while watching Jeopardy and listening to a podcast about theoretical physics—all at the same time.
What’s Included:
There are no cards or pieces to this game. The only choking hazard is the words that get stuck in your throat—or maybe a laugh that surprises you.
How to Begin:
This is a game of randomness. You don’t know when or where the game will start or end.
You also won’t know who you’ll be playing with. Most of the time, the other team has no idea they’re playing—unless they’re reading this.
The Rules of UH!?!?
- Player 1 starts a conversation with Player 2, who can be anyone or anything—an animal, a pot, a plant, a stranger, a family member, or a friend. We here at UH!?!? don’t judge. However, people are generally easier to play with since they can respond.
- The game begins when Player 1 forgets a word mid-conversation, stops, and goes, “UH!?!?”
- Player 1 then gives a long, rambling description of the forgotten word. The more detail, the better.
- Player 2 responds with one of several strategies:
- Guess the word: If correct, the game ends. If wrong, Player 1 continues the description.
- Act clueless: Pretend not to know who or what Player 1 is talking about, prolonging the game.
- Let the rambling continue: Sit back and adopt a confused look while Player 1 keeps talking.
- Guess something absurd: Suggest something wildly unrelated, like “Burt Bacharach.”
The game ends when Player 1 finally remembers the word or laughs and says, “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”
Why This Matters
Sometimes, forgetting words and names feels frustrating and embarrassing. But does it have to? What happens when we allow ourselves and others to have fun in these moments?
This game isn’t just about words—it’s about connection, humor, and reminding ourselves that Parkinson’s doesn’t own us.
As Jefferson Airplane says: “No man is an island…he’s a peninsula!”
We’re all connected—to each other, to our loved ones, and to the world around us. Laughter doesn’t erase the hard parts, but it makes them easier to bear.
Closing Thoughts
I write this to myself as much as to you. Some days, I’m a deflated balloon. Other days, I feel stuck and rigid. But sometimes, I pump myself up with laughter and let myself enjoy the moment.
Because even in the face of Parkinson’s, a good laugh reminds us: You do not own me.
If you’re someone with Parkinson’s or a caregiver, I’d love to hear your strategies for making the hard days easier. Share your stories in the comments or reach out to me.
Let’s laugh in the face of Parkinson’s together.
EverydayParkinsons 
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