EverydayParkinsons

I am a writer (non-published writer) and one of the things I like to write is humor. Granted, my taste in humor may be a bit out there, but for me, it is a way to heal and continue to heal. I know it will not magically make my Parkinsons go away, but it does make my heart a bit lighter and I hope yours well.

The other reason I am doing this is because I have to come to terms with Parkinsons. In my meditations I have been meditating on Parkinsons and its meaning in my life. The other day it dawned on me that I have been looking at Parkinsons as some kind of invader in my brain. I have been treating it as a hostile force aiming to take me down.

I am not sure that is the correct approach for me. Maybe I should treat Parkinsons as just another part of me. Why not make friends with it and welcome it as a new addition to my already full life? So that is what I am doing. And since, I am a joker at heart why not treat it as a friend and tease it a bit. This is what I do to my friends. Why not treat parkinsons the same way? So consider this an experiment or as a way for me to welcome Parkinsons into The Minordiety’s family. That’s me in case you missed my username.

On with it, Man! On with it. This is already too damn long.

A friend reached out to me the other day and asked me if I had the day off. Apparently, he needed a chainsaw man for his logging operation for the day. I was pretty dumbfounded, so I asked him what in the hell he could possibly thinking. Why ask a guy with Parkinson’s to be a chainsaw man. That would be dangerous, right? Dangerous for me as well as anyone near me.

He responded with, and I kid you not,” that’s why I ask. It would be fun to watch” (Please note that next part is a total embellishment on my part and is fiction. Adding it because, why not.) Then he responds again “I have a couple of workers that are slacking off. If you are running a chainsaw they will be running away from you. It will be the most work I have gotten out of them in 2 weeks.

I love that guy. I love people that treat me as people and not like a fragile parkinsons ceramic doll.

This got me thinking about other occupations that I may not want to consider now that I have parkinsons.

1. Knife Sharpener
2. Juggling anything that can cut me or cut me in half.
3. Tight rope walker. It’s a long way down with balance issues.
4. Nitro glycerin handler or handler of anything that will explode if you shake it or drop it.
5. Lion Tamer. It’s obvious why, right?
6. Chainsaw man for a friend who wants to put his employees in line and scare the hell out of them.
7. Sword Swallower
8. Professional Freeze tag player. Semi-Pro would be acceptable though.
9. Fugu sushi chef.
10. Glass Blower.
11. Glass shop attendant.
12. Really, anything involving glass.

But what about Jobs that I would be really good at.

1. Bartender for James Bond. Shaken not stirred my good man.

Let’s just stop there because the reality is that we can do anything and that would be the perfect job, just maybe not so perfect if you are in recovery and have Parkinsons ( that is a whole other thing that may or may not get written about at some point.). And, just because we can do anything does not mean we should do anything (see 1-12.) Some things are better off letting someone handle.

People with Parkinsons may shake, might walk a little funny, and hell they just may be a little funny in the head (like yours, truly) but we are fully capable people with an incredible range of talents and specialties.

If you are newly diagnosed, keep your head up. Life will change a bit, however, for the most part it will stay like it is today. Remember it is important to live your life, laugh deep, belly shaking laughs, and love ambitiously.

Also, please note that I am notorious liar, but I am an honest notorious liar. (See the story about the chain saw.)

So, Welcome to my family, Parkinsons. I hope we have many good years together.